In Spirit And In Truth

tinalouisewin.com

2011-01-30T19:13:00.000-08:00

I have my own website now and that is where I will be publishing most of my blog posts now. I've also started college and there is a lot of writing for my English class soooo I won't be writing blogs as much. So much changed in my life in 2010. I never thought when the idea came to me last January to write a book that I would find myself in this place a year later. Writing this book has been the culmination of years of struggle and pain. Year of striving, learning, growing and doing whatever it took to make the changes I needed to so I could be completely free, whole and no longer that broken wounded little girl without a voice. With 90lbs. of excess weight gone from this body and ten sizes dropped as well I find myself in a place I've never been before. On the edge of a future I never even dare to dream about before. I've started taking steps into that future and it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. No, quite the contrary. The road ahead is hard and will have it's own struggles, pain setbacks that will help me to learn and grow and stand strong in the healing that has happened in this once fractured soul of mine. Some would say I finally got it and that is why I'm having success. I know the truth is....without the process I went through over the past 11 years, without the many failures along with some success, without the determination to get back up again and again and persevere, try again, figure out what went wrong and learn....I would not be having success right now in losing this excess weight at last. Something I wrote in one of my journals from many years ago lingers in my mind....24 failures after 24 tries... Life is more about what we do when we fail than our successes. Without failures, mess ups, setbacks, etc.... we would never learn those lessons that build into our character the very things that keep us grounded and from being tripped up by our pride and ego when we do succeed at last. And then once we have a measure of success does that mean we can relax and enjoy? For about a minute or two and then it's time to get your nose to the grindstone for the next part of your journey. What am I trying to say here? It's about the journey, our walk, the way we carry ourselves that shows the stuff we are made of. First, it's revealed to us in the secret place and we stand amazed at what God put inside of us and the real authentic person he created us to be. Then we start feeling courageous enough to show the world who we really are and soon we see that we are actually impacting lives all around us for good. As I've read back through my journals I see the cry of my heart has simply been this...that my life would matter, would make a difference in this world, and simply to help another see how valuable they are and how they can impact their world. I pray in some small way my life has impacted yours.....................

Love Never Fails You

2010-10-17T04:15:00.000-07:00

Since my best friend posted this song last Sunday on my facebook page I cannot get it out of my heart or head. lol The truth of love speaks so loudly to me because it is LOVE that has healed my broken wounded heart, it is LOVE that has put back the shattered peices of my soul. It is LOVE that helps me to see myself as I was created to be. It is LOVE that enables me to be full to overflowing with love for others. It is LOVE that gives me the desire to pour my life out to help the hurting, the wounded, the broken, the captives. LOVE never fails you. What is this love? In 1John 4:7-19 it is defined as this...

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is (springs) from God; and he who loves [his fellowmen] is begotten (born) of God and is coming [progressively] to know and understand God [to perceive and recognize and get a better and clearer knowledge of Him]. He who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest (displayed) where we are concerned: in that God sent His Son, the only begotten or [b]unique [Son], into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation (the atoning sacrifice) for our sins. Beloved, if God loved us so [very much], we also ought to love one another. No man has at any time [yet] seen God. But if we love one another, God abides (lives and remains) in us and His love (that love which is essentially His) is brought to completion (to its full maturity, runs its full course, is perfected) in us! By this we come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we abide (live and remain) in Him and He in us: because He has given (imparted) to us of His [Holy] Spirit. And [besides] we ourselves have seen (have deliberately and steadfastly contemplated) and bear witness that the Father has sent the Son [as the] Savior of the world. Anyone who confesses (acknowledges, owns) that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides (lives, makes His home) in him and he [abides, lives, makes his home] in God. And we know (understand, recognize, are conscious of, by observation and by experience) and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love God cherishes for us. God is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in him. In this [union and communion with Him] love is brought to completion and attains perfection with us, that we may have confidence for the day of judgment [with assurance and boldness to face Him], because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love [c]turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear [d]brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection]. We love Him, because He first loved us.

Absolutely beautiful!! I love you Lord with all of my heart, all of my mind, with all of my will, with all of my emotions! I receive YOUR LOVE into the deepest part of my being and I now have a greater understaning of LOVE and can love others from the fullness of Your LOVE in me. Love, Your beautiful daughter Tina

Praying...a two way conversation....

2010-10-15T20:14:00.000-07:00

We had very interesting confessions and discussion at life group tonight followed by an amazing time of prayer. The book...Christian/Athiest is challanging us to really look at ourselves to see if we are truly living what we say we believe. We discussed "when you believe in God but don't think He loves you" and "not praying". I pray all the time...talking to God in my natural chatty voice. But a friend gently reminded me that I need to be quiet and listen if I really want to know their heart and be engaged in the conversation. I've always prided myself on being a good listener but I realized that since I'm not stuffing the emotion down with food anymore I have alot more to say. This has been hindering my ability to really listen. But God loves me so very much and does not let me wander very far from His side. He pulls and woos me back by His love that has captivated my heart and ruined me for anything ordinary. I want His absolute best for me...nothing short of that will satisfy the deep longing in my soul. This I know with great certainty. He not only loves me with an everlasting love but longs to be with me...to hear me talk to him and then sit with him for a while and listen for his voice that calls me his Beloved. I am wholly loved and beautifully made. So I will make a conscience effort to hear the voice of God in everything. He is speaking...we are just not listening. Find out His heart...have a two way conversation with the Lord this week. You will not regret it!!

Life is sweet!

2010-10-03T05:01:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you but I've been finding how sweet life can be lately. This journey into my past filled with painful memories and the revelations I've had into the deep wells of this woman's heart have brought about a profound change in me. I find I'm present and more aware of well, everything! I feel like I'm walking in a greater measure of the fullness of God that I wrote about before. That I've tasted and seen that the Lord is good and know with greature assurity than I ever have before that He is not only working in all things for my good but has worked in everything in my past to bring about good for me and in me. Healing for my soul, freedom from shame, Joy that's unspeakable and full of His Glory. And the most amazing thing is how this is translating into my mortal body. I feel health being renewed in me, strength returning, absence of the debilitating fybromyalgia type pain and I'm awed and amazed by my creator and believe what He says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. His Word is life to this body and healing to my bones. I'm full...so full of the goodness of my God. If this is what the extraordinary health that Jordan Reuban speaks about in his books feels like, then I want more of this. The old cravings for food and the desire to eat to push emotional pain back down inside is gone. I really feel like a brand new woman. 2Corinthians 5:17 says...Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come. I feel this newness, like He is transforming me and making me complete in Him. Lord, I am awed by You today. You are amazing me with Your goodness, Your grace, Your truth! I love you O Lord my God!!

Whatever You're Doing Something Heavenly SANCTUS REAL lyrics

2010-09-24T06:06:00.000-07:00

The Fullness of God

2010-09-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

I'm in two Bible studies right now. One called Revelation by Beth Moore and the other The Christian Atheist. Beth encourages us to seek the Lord every day for a fresh revelation of who He is. The last week has been full of revelations for me and I wanted to share some here with you.

The last ten years have been a journey of healing and restoration for me. I've had to walk through some pretty painful experiences that the Lord is using for my good. Rom. 8:28 But lately as I've made this commitment to write the books that the Holy Spirit inspired me to write at the beginning of this year I've been experiencing a deeper insight into myself and the way God made women in general. I know He is showing me this so I can write it down to inspire and provoke others into the fullness that He has for each of us. The fullness Paul writes about and encourages the Ephesians with in chapter 3 vs. 14-21. The prayer He prays is so weighty and powerful even thousands of years after He prayed it over the Ephesians.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives it's name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge. That you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I read this and am stirred to my core. Really?! Really Lord?! It is really possible for me to experience the "fullness of God"? That blows my mind and causes me to say "sign me up"! His power has been at work in me even when I haven't fully realized it. He is in the transforming business after all..lol! But to reach this place in Him where you are healed to the uttermost so He can pour in His Fullness....WOW!! May the power of His Word stir you today as He is stirring me to come in complete surrender and say...Have Your way in me!!

My Mother

2010-09-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

So after a 3 month drought of being unable to talk to my mother in FL for one reason or the other I had the most amazing phone conversation with her tonight. She's an amazing woman. Right now she is caring for not one but two of her Aunts in her home on top of working a part time job and helping out with her grandsons who live next door. She has always been this way. Giving to others when we were in need ourselves. She has always been my biggest fan, confidant, and encourager. She's not a perfect mother but she's perfectly mine.

I had to ask for her approval on the book I'm writing and pick her brain a bit on some of my memories. She actually helped clear up some of the fog I was having concerning some of my earliest memories. All of the anxiety I was having about writing this book is gone and I'm ready to let it flow out of me onto the written page. We also prayed together before we said goodbye. I love praying with my Mom. We might not be able to sit across the table from each other drinking a cup of tea and enjoying each others company with her a thousand miles away but somehow when we pray together all the distance is gone and I almost think I could open my eyes and she would be right there next to me ready to give me a big hug.

I told Mom how much I love looking for cards for her on Mother's Day. It was just the opposite with Dad. I'm so thankful for the mom God blessed me with. She loved me more than enough to get me through the dark times of my childhood and beyond. Where she found the strength to do this was from her faith in a God who was more than enough for her. Her authentic faith lived out in front of me spoke more to me than any sermon or Bible study. And that's what I tried to do when I had a family of my own.

So with her resounding yes to what I want to write about in my book I'm now free to write. Because in her words not mine..."We have no secrets". I love my mom and I'm giving her a big bear hug across the miles in my mind right now. I can't wait to get this book written and dedicate it to her.

Losing It!

2010-09-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Yes it's only been a couple of days since I wrote in here. But what can I say I'm on a roll with this writing thing.

I had a very candid discussion with my niece yesterday about "losing it". You know what I mean and don't pretend you don't. lol If you are a human being with a pulse you have lost your temper sometime in your life.

In my younger days I would beat myself up for days and even weeks after a "losing it" episode. It really hindered me from enjoying my life. Guilt, fear and shame can keep you trapped in a vicious cycle of defeat. That was my experience for many years. Guilt because I messed up again and just couldn't do anything right...(that's a lie). Fear of failure and disappointing those I cared about the most. And shame which cries out there is something terribly wrong with me and I'm beyond repair"...(that's a lie too).

So how did I overcome this cycle of defeat in my life you may ask? It wasn't overnight for sure but I did overcome by telling myself the truth. The truth of who God is, who He says I am, what He says I can do, and that He loves me unconditionally. Whenever the negative self talk starts in my head now it's easy to defeat because these truths are a part of my identity now. That old victim mentality is crumbling and I'm walking in greater freedom than ever before.

My niece sent me a message apologizing for "losing it" and my reply to her was that I understand about "losing it" all to well. At 3am this morning a whimper woke me up outside my bedroom door. I laid there listening for another whimper hoping I had dreamed it when thoughts starting flooding my mind of how I forgot to take the trash out and we had roasted chicken for dinner and there's a carcass in the trash. But surely he couldn't have gotten into my trash can upstairs....WRONG!! Another whimper and up out of bed I jumped, down the hall to the kitchen and AHHHH MAXWELL!! I lost it!! I wanted to kill my dog. But my desire to not wake up the whole house was stronger so I grabbed Max by the collar and dragged him downstairs and outside, resisting the urge to strangle him the whole way down the stairs. I disciplined him and left him outside while I cleaned up the mess he had made. Now I'm angry at my husband for buying THAT DOG, angry at the other dog for not alerting me to his brother's misbehavior, angry at the boys for not taking the trash out, but mostly angry at myself for "LOSING IT"! With controlled fury I come down to let the dogs back in and lock Max up in the bathroom downstairs(emptying the trash can in there first). I take my enzyme spray and the Febreeze to finish cleaning the floor upstairs and take my anger out on the floor. Cleaning with a vengeance I might add at 3:15 in the morning. I go back downstairs and let Max out of the bathroom and put him out again this time sitting outside watching him to make sure he's ok. He is one repentant dog at this point. He is eyeing me with a look of caution mixed with hope..."does she still love me"?

The point of sharing my "Losing It" story is that I'm actually laughing about it now. I'm not beating myself up mentally but I've let myself off the hook as well as my adorable 15 mo. old puppy Maxwell. I have to be more diligent in training him and making sure my house is a safe place for my dogs. He's been sleeping most of the day because his stomach has quite a bit extra to digest...lol! Baxter is sleeping more too, so I suspect he joined in on the feast. And it wasn't just last night they feasted. I did a trial over the weekend to see if I could let the dogs sleep upstairs. Baxter had the run of the house before Max showed up last August. But Max found the bread and potato rolls, chewed through the bags and ate a whole pack of rolls and a half a loaf of bread. Well, I'm sure he shared some with his brother Baxter because both of their food allergies have flared up. I put the bread up where they couldn't get to it and thought it was safe when I chose to leave them upstairs last night. Lesson learned the hard way for me....that puppy cannot be trusted!!

So If you like me have found yourself "losing it" recently....get over it and let yourself off the hook! : )

Life's New Adventure

2010-09-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

It's been over a year since I've written in here. That curve ball that I wrote about in my last post was the gift that kept on giving...lol. It forced me into doing a lot of soul searching, which I have found very hard to put in writing. I've waded through alot of toxic emotions but by telling myself the truth I have come out on the other shore stronger than ever. The lessons learned I could write a book about and perhaps I will. Which leads me to the title of this blog.

I'm starting a new adventure in my life. I'm taking a college writing course starting next week. I've been thinking about doing this for a while now but would always find one excuse or another to keep me from following my heart. But with the encouragement and support of a dear friend I just did it.

At a women's retreat this past June that I went to with my sister Laura and best friend Janelle, the Lord kept impressing on my heart...."Just do it"! Let go of every excuse, lay down everything that hinders you from being your best. Cut those things out of your life that rob you of your time and energy.  Choose life and live it to the fullest! Move forward in spite of pain and setbacks. The possibilities for my future are seemingly endless now. The emotional and physical pain of the past 6 years are no longer defining who I am but are a catalyst to life altering, God glorifying change.

I can encourage everyone else with the greatest of ease. I see their potential and cheer them toward it. But I have felt very discouraged myself as I have struggled with my health and the wounds of those I once called friend. I sometimes lose sight of my own potential and can't admit that I need to be encouraged as well.  There are still old mindsets that I battle with. I haven't reached my goals with my health yet. And the list could go on and on. However, encouragement came to me in the most surprising way and showed me how powerful it truly is.

That's why I want to write about my life. The good, the bad and the ugly.  Unafraid to share my pain and struggles, battles lost, battles won and battles still being fought can serve as the greatest encouragement to others.  The tendency when we are struggling is to isolate ourselves and put on a happy face to those around us. But we are only deceiving ourselves. Those who really love us see right through our masks. Being honest with yourself and others is where healing begins and ends.  "You shall know the truth, and THE TRUTH will set you free!!"

Curve Balls

2009-07-20T05:03:00.000-07:00

I'm going to quote Forrest Gump here .........."Momma always said...Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get"

How true this is. No matter how much we plan ahead, have all our ducks in a row, dream about our future, and any other analogy you can fill in the blank with....life throws curve balls. I believe God is in control and that He is ordering my steps. But my thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways. Even when I believe with all my heart that I'm headed in the direction He is leading and I'm doing what He purposed for me to do...."CURVE BALL" It could be someone close to you becoming sick, injured, or even having an untimely death. It could be your own health that is faultering. It could be someone disappointing you and leaving you in a vulnerable state. Life has so many variables that our finite minds cannot even begin to grasp. But God is in control! He is on the throne! He is Lord of All! He is the shelter I run to, the rock I stand on, and the hope I cling to when all else and everyone else fails me!

Where do these thoughts come from you might ask? I've had a major CURVE BALL in my life that has left me confused and hurt. I'm not confused about who God is because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I'm confused by people....trying to understand why they do what they do and the motives behind their actions. I'm also hurt by their actions because they directly affect me and the course of my life. Part of me wants to shrink back, never let anyone in that close again. But that's the old wounded me having her say. I'm not that person anymore. I've come to far, been healed of way to much to get on that pity party bandwagon again. Instead I look at this as an opportunity for growth and change. It doesn't make it less painful to walk through....it just gives the pain a purpose. I refuse to be a victim of the pain but instead use it as a stepping stone not a stumbling block. It doesn't stop the pain of loss...nothing can. But I can grieve the loss...allow the tears to flow...and surrender it at the foot of the Cross. I'm still in this process. I think I've laid it down...but then I have to cry again and again.

I'm not going to write the details of what happened in here because it is just my side of the events that brought me to this place. But as the Psalmist in Psalm 73 writes truthfully and honestly about how he feels and what he believes and knows to be true, I take encouragement and use his example and now say along with him...."Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, (I looked to You my God, my Savior, my Redeemer) For I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your councel and afterward You will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail BUT GOD is the strength of my heart and my portion forever!!

Be blessed today in the love and grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

The Calvary Road

2009-05-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

We've been meeting at my church, True Believers Fellowship, on Thursday evenings for several months now working our way through the book "The Calvary Road". It's a little book and doesn't look like much on the outside but the truth it brings you face to face with is life altering. You cannot remain the same when confronted with the truth of the cross...the way of the cross. It's definitely not a popular message in the church today and definitely quite foreign to the current world view.

Tonight we talked about being a bondservant. About giving up our rights, laying down our lives, choosing the way of humility that Christ Jesus modeled for us. But in this country especially we are all about our rights. Even in churches you hear the ear tickling platitudes of purpose and destiny. Not that those are bad words or even false teachings. But most of the messages I hear while flipping around the channels promote self. Self reliance, self seeking agendas, self promoting philosophy that is far from the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was Jesus who said..."If you want to be my disciples first deny yourself, then pick up your cross, and follow Me." We find it hard to deny ourselves anything. I know I do. This teaching has confronted my selfish nature head on.

Now that all the season finales have aired for all my favorite TV shows, I'm faced with a void and a decision. What will I fill my time with? What choices will I make for either life or death. My choices lately haven't been the best. They've been for convenience & comfort. And my health suffers because of my poor choices. Choose Life. That's what I wrote about last time. But I actually need to choose death first. Death to self. Deny myself. Deny my self! So I start here confessing that I haven't been denying self but feeding self and it's appetites. {I shudder}

Forgive me Lord. I confess, turn, and repent. I choose to die so that I might truly live. I can't succeed in my own strength. I need You Lord. I trust in You Jesus. I tune my ear to Your voice and choose to silence all the voices I've been listening to. You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all. Seeking You as a precious jewel, Lord to give up I'd be a fool, You are my all in all. Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is Your Name, Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is Your Name. I want to follow Your example of being a bondservant. I lay down my rights, I lay down my pride, I have no appeal, I am Yours. Have Your way in me....I surrender! Yours willingly, Tina

Choices

2009-04-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

In this wonderful gift that is life, God has given us freedom to choose. Everyday we are faced with choices from what to eat for breakfast and what to wear....to what will I do to entertain myself today........and if you're really deep, How will I positively affect my world today? Maybe it's because I'm in my 40's now and just had my 42nd birthday two days ago, but I see the world in such a different way then I did even a decade ago. Having already lived probably at least half of my life. Looking back and seeing all the choices I've made to this point....the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want my choices now to bring change. Changes for the better in myself and the world I live in. I don't want my life to be about feeding my appetites but giving something back.

God has blessed my life in spite of some very poor choices on my part. I see Him constantly redeeming me and working all things out for my good. I find myself instead of asking the Lord why in difficulties asking Him what and how. Lord, what does Your Word say about this? Lord, what do You want me to do? Lord what is the purpose in this? Lord how can I glorify You in these circumstances? Lord how can I be a blessing in spite of these circumstances? Lord show me how to love You deeper, trust You more completely, and know You more?

I recently made the choice to make some serious lifestyle changes. I want to be healthy and fit and physically able to do what the Lord has called me to do in this life. The poor choices I have made in the past have resulted in obesity and wear and tear on this physical body. God has been healing me and restoring my soul from bitterness, resentment, rejection and wounds. I know He is restoring my life and I want my choices to further His kingdom work in me and through me. He is "The Potter" and I am but clay in His hands. I hang on to His Word that tells me He has begun a good work in me and He is able to bring that work to completion.

So today I choose life. Life in Him, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We recently have been singing an oldy but a goody at church.......
My life is in You Lord, My strength is in You Lord, My hope is in You, Lord
I will praise You with all of my life
I will praise You with all of my strength
With all of my life, with all of my strength, All of my hope is in You!!

Deuteronomy 30:19-20
19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

God has given us the freedom to choose. Choose life today with me!

I Survived Camp Pinnacle 2008

2008-08-12T18:04:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

It's been a few months since I wrote in here. Mainly because I was extremely busy with my new kitchen being put in. It's 99% done and I've been using it since the July 4th weekend. I feel extremely blessed and am so grateful to my husband for all of his hard work. His new nickname is He-man. lol

I just got back a few days ago from a week at Camp Pinnacle. I believe this was the best year yet. God showed up and met us on the mountain. Lives were forever changed and impacted for His Kingdom. I had the best four girls a counselor could ask for, even if they did keep me up later than I wanted to stay up. lol They blessed me more than they realize. It was great getting to know Kiersten better. I'm so proud of her. She came home from camp and led her friend to the Lord. That's Awesome!! I came home and slept walked for about 4 days. I think I finally woke up today.

I went to camp this year completely reliant on the Lord. I sprained my hip a couple weeks before camp and that was just the final injury/illness that I had experienced since February. I anchored my hope in Jesus and declared His Word that His strength is made perfect in my weakness. When I am weak then I am strong. The Joy of the Lord is my strength. I experienced greater surrender to the Lord before and during camp then in any of my previous years at camp. There was a greater hunger for the Lord than ever before that seemed shared by everyone. We all seemed to come with our masks already off and prepared to get real. I for one am totally done with the phony church. I grew up in many different churches as we moved around a lot. There were some phony ones where everyone put on their Sunday face and no one had any problems except for me. lol

What I really want to say is Thank You to everyone who came ready to do business with the Lord. Ready to be real with the Lord and each other. Sick and tired of playing church and ready to take the next step in their relationship with the Lord. I was so blessed to see the next generation hungry, pressing in, and refusing to leave the same way they came. I was equally blessed to see those of my generation willing to be real and not afraid to share their struggles & how they surrendered and continue to surrender or die daily. I was blessed to hear the Truth come forth in every chapel service and witnessing the Truth setting captives free. I was blessed to be prayed for by this next generation and receive a touch in my body that I was desperately needing. I was blessed to see the Father's heart for us, to intercede, cry out, and stand in the gap for all and then to release them to the Father's care. Thursday night at chapel impacted me the greatest when I saw how many feel the pressures of this life that they are returning to. I believe they returned changed, empowered, ready to make a difference and impact their situations. I believe that most realized who they are in Christ by looking deeper into the cross and what Jesus provided for us there. And I believe the work He did in their hearts is sealed by His Spirit and will empower them to live victoriously as they answer His call to deny themselves, daily pick up their cross, and follow Jesus. At the Cross - Surrender - Victory!

Blessings! Tina

P.S. My thoughts and prayers continue to go out to Pastor Dave & Jennifer Shorten and their family.

Spring Fever

2008-04-22T05:59:00.000-07:00

Hello once again. Does everyone out there have spring fever? Even the one's with allergies like my husband still have it. He is longing to get out on the golf course and it's oh so much better to play when everything is green. I have a lot of planting to do thanks to my wonderful friend Teresa B. who gives out of the abundance of her beautiful garden. My soul is stirring within and I long to get out and "play in the dirt" just like I did as a child. But my body hasn't completely recovered from my extended illness and the anemia. It cries out loudly with aches and pains after I've exerted myself with my daily chores around the house. How many of us long to do things but our bodies won't cooperate in the matter? Even the smallest of children can raise their hands to that one. They long to do what they don't have the ability to do yet. We long for the abilities we had when we were younger. If you have been reading my blogs at all I'm sure you know I'm sensing a lesson in this somewhere.

I see this struggle always present. It's the same struggle that Paul writes about in Romans 7. Verse 18 says it plainly: "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." How many times do we find ourselves frustrated in striving to do what is right but falling short of the goal? How many times do we struggle with the desire to do but not having the ability to do it? I don't know about you, but I'm greatly encouraged by Paul that he is so open and vulnerable to his readers. He doesn't try to pretty things up so that we the readers only see his great successes. No he is real. Saying it like it is. But always He brings us to Christ Jesus the hope of glory! If you want encouragement today in your struggle with this flesh read the whole chapter. But I will skip to the last two verses where Paul tells us plainly the truth of the matter. "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! Please read the next chapter as well. Romans 8:28 is one of my favorites that I declare over my life all the time. Let's decide today to follow Paul's example and quit putting on a happy face to others. It's time to get real with each other and quit pretending we never struggle. Who do we think we're fooling anyhow? True strength isn't in my abilities and what I can do for God. Rather it's His strength being made perfect in my weakness. I love how God calls us to do what isn't comfortable or in our natural ability to do. If it's easy, maybe it isn't God. So don't be discouraged by your weaknesses, rather see them as opportunities for God to be glorified in and through you. May God bless you today with His strength, His presense, His grace, & His love!

Feeling better every day

2008-04-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Hello again. It's been a week since I posted anything in here. I am very happy to report that my energy is returning and I'm feeling better everyday. God is good and He is restoring health to me as I'm obedient to what He has called me to. I have been noticing some significant improvements after being off of gluten/wheat for a week now. I'm seeking the Lord for wisdom and direction concerning anything else I should eliminate or moderate as far as food is concerned.

It is so neat how God sets us up sometimes in circumstances and you just have to stand and be amazed by Him. I want to share with you what happened today when I went to the grocery store. I met Deb in the health food aisle as we were both looking at the gluten free section. She overheard Jacob commenting about my idea about putting my boys on a gluten free diet for 30 days to see if their allergies clear up. She started talking to me about her 18 yr. old daughter who is being tested for Celiac's disease. She shared with me about some health problems of her own, one of which is anemia. She actually has to get iron injections to keep her iron levels where they should be. She decided right there in the grocery store to go on a gluten free diet with her daughter to see if it would help her health improve. She told me about watching Joyce Meyers recently and being inspired to make some positive changes in her life. I shared with her about God's goodness in my life and we encouraged one another right there in a grocery aisle of Giant. God is so good. He will always confirm His will, His path to us. He is always speaking, we just have to pay attention. And He is providing opportunities for us to bless one another.

Deb thanked me numerous times for being so helpful and informative. I referred her to Natural Choices where the owner, who is a Christian and has been on a gluten free diet for over 4 years now, will help her navigate this new lifestyle. I say again, God is always speaking. The question is, are we really listening? It would have been much easier to just smile, be polite and continue my shopping. But thank God He opened my eyes to the opportunity to be a blessing and receive a blessing. How many times do we simply miss what God has for us because we are to busy, tired, stressed, preoccupied, etc? Take some time this week and take a break from the world and find rest in the Lord. Let Him open the eyes of our hearts to really see Him and tune our ears to hear Him more clearly. We may be surprised at what He has to say to us and what He is asking of us. May the Lord bless you all abundantly this week with His Peace, His Love, His Joy, and His Presence!

What's Hindering Us From God's Best?

2008-04-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. I'm relieved to report that my anemia is just simply being low in iron. I still have a little bit of testing to go through just to rule everything else out. But I am quite confident in the Lord, who has begun a good work in me, will bring it to completion. He is leading me to eliminate gluten/wheat entirely from my diet to see if some other symptoms I've been experiencing for quite some time will clear up completely. Although I have eliminated about 90% of wheat/gluten from my diet, I still have not entirely eliminated this known irritant from my diet. Ummm.....can you guess what I'm gonna say next? I think there's a lesson to be learned here.

I don't know about the rest of you but I can certainly relate this physical lesson to my spiritual walk. How many of us have struggled with something we knew wasn't good for us spiritually but we still wanted the pleasure of partaking in the activity 10% of the time? Wasn't that good enough? It could be something as seemingly innocent as the books I read, the shows or movies I watch, the music I listen to, etc. Philippians 4:8 states "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

I've been guilty in the past of the mindset of justifying some of my choices by comparing in percentages of how well I'm doing overall. God wants 100% of me. That will require me to give up some things that, although they might not be sin, distract me from God's best. I think we as Americans are so used to "having it our way" we don't have the faintest clue about really going without, paying the price, counting the cost. We've grown fat and lazy and it's time to eliminate many things that we have tolerated in our churches and get busy with building the Kingdom of God, here on earth as it is in heaven. It's time to call sin, sin and not a problem or weakness. It's time to repent and turn from our wicked ways. God's Word promises that if His people will humble themselves and pray and turn from their wicked ways, then He will hear from heaven and forgive our sins and heal our land. It's time to stop compromising and settling for anything less the God's best and giving Him nothing short of 100%. He deserves our best. He gave His ALL for us how can we do any less?

Lord I pray that You would help me to surrender completely to Your Way for my life. Reveal all areas of compromise to me so I can repent and turn away from what is hindering me from complete surrender. I thank you for what You are revealing to me in the natural because I know the natural always reveals the spiritual. That has been Your pattern throughout history from the beginning of time. Thank You Father for sending The Son in the flesh to dwell among us, to give up His life as the perfect spotless sacrificial lamb to completely wash away our sin and utterly defeat the kingdom of darkness and establish His eternal kingdom in the hearts of all who call upon His name. Thank You Jesus for Your sacrifice and perfect example of how to live a holy life, and for sending the Holy Spirit to fill me, empower me, reveal all things to me, and to complete the work of salvation in me. You are stirring up a hunger in my heart for more of You. I'm saying NO to compromise, No to complacency, No to just staying the same. I'm saying Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Lord, to whatever You want. Your will be done! Amen!

Prayer and Encouragement

2008-04-05T15:24:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. Your comments and feedback are not only welcome but encouraging to me. It is good to know that one can be a blessing to others not matter how small.

I'm feeling quite wore out and run down on this the 5th of April 2008 my 41st birthday. I know this valley I'm walking through with my health is temporary and the Lord is the Good Shepherd who is leading me through it. Your prayers are welcome and appreciated and oh so powerful. I think the blood test results will be back by the beginning of the week. Meanwhile I started on B12 and Iron along with a good multi-vitamin. I believe the Lord is revealing His plan for me in the midst of this struggle. So please pray that His Word will be confirmed to me and I will walk in Godly wisdom and council.

I receive encouragement and nourishment from His Word today :
Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!"
11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Psalm 121
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—He who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you—the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—He will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and
forevermore.

Next door neighbors?!?!

2008-04-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

We have some next door neighbors who moved in at the beginning of the school year. It's been an interesting year so far. They have two dogs who kept getting out and running through the neighborhood. After many neighbors reported them they are finally leashing the dogs and I've only seen them loose on rare occasions. Before they leashed the dogs my yard was their favorite bathroom spot. I've removed trash from my yard that has blown in from their yard on several occasions. They have a teenage son who doesn't like Jacob and tries to bait Jacob into fights with him on the bus by calling him names, making antisemitic remarks, and picking on other students on the bus. Anyhow, the point I'm trying to make is these are neighbors who make you want to find a new neighborhood to live in. That is where my thoughts were today as I was driving out in the country and seeing so many houses for sale with neighbors who are quite a distance away. Hmmm, a person can dream can't they? The Holy Spirit started convicting me as I was on my way home and I saw new homes being built and I was thinking oh, if only I could build my dream house up there on that hill away from neighbors. He whispered to me, "then who will shine my light in the darkness on Curds Way?" "Who will show my love to the unloved on Curds Way?" "Didn't you ask to be used by me?" "Look, I've sent your mission field to you, they are next door."

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that when things are irritating me it's time to look inside of myself not outside. It's not about changing my surroundings so I can feel less irritated, it's about allowing the Holy Spirit to change me in my surroundings and use me to further God's Kingdom. So I was reminded once again today to change my perspective from temporal to eternal. And I'm asking You Lord to make a way where there seems to be no way to reach our neighbors for You. Help us to love them right where they are. As the weather is warming up and we will see more of them around their house help us to see and take the opportunities You will give us to be salt and light. Let the fruits of the Spirit be worked into us through this trying situation and let Your love expand in our hearts for them. I thank you Lord for this opportunity that was disguised as a problem. All blessing, glory, and honor be unto Your Holy Name! In Jesus Name, Amen!

Another Lesson

2008-04-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

Hello again. It's been a long day for me. Although I have recovered from bronchitis and upper respiratory infections I have continued to feel run down and under the weather. Like someone pulled the plug and all of my energy ran down the drain, along with some body aches, headaches, and feeling light headed and dizzy at times. I've been using the lessons I've learned to encourage myself by speaking the truth of God's Word, praying over this body, etc. but everyday it gets harder to get out of bed and encourage myself when I just want to roll over and go back to sleep until I can wake up feeling better. So, now that you have an idea of how I've been feeling lately, let me tell you the reason why. I'm anemic, so the Dr. reported to me yesterday from the results of my blood test. Now I have to go for more testing to find out why I'm anemic and how to correct the imbalance in my blood. Hmmm...I think there's a lesson in here somewhere.

I believe this confirms an earlier lesson I wrote about when I was sick. We shouldn't always assume that when we are feeling bad physically it's because we have done something wrong. Sometimes it is because we haven't been taking care of ourselves and we even may be abusing our bodies in many different ways. But most of the time we get sick, have imbalances, or get injured through no fault of our own but because we live in a fallen world. I'm believing the reason will be found and corrected. I believe what Ron prayed over me today that provision has been made and the price has been payed through Jesus' blood for my physical body and that I will have my health restored. I believe the promises of the Lord to me and I recognize the obstacles I now am facing are because I walked through the door the Lord opened in faith and now I must persevere and continue forward in faith. I thank God for my church family who surrounded me with love, concern, and prayers today. What a blessing to know that whatever trials we face we don't have to face them alone. I do believe His blessings will overtake me as I continue to walk in obedience in what God has called me to do. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. May God richly bless each of you today. Love, Tina

More lessons from my 41 years on earth

2008-04-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

Hello again. I have so many things to share that I decided to write a little each day during this entire week leading up to my 41st birthday.

Lesson #4: Always remain teachable. The older I get, the more I realize how little I really know. Sure I know more than when I was young and hope I have quite a bit more wisdom. But I'm realizing I have to continue to admit I don't know everything and I still have a lot to learn. I think it's because I've been a mother for almost 20 years now and I've been in the training and teaching mode for a couple of decades that I'm to quick to offer my advice or insight and less inclined to really listen. I'm learning that listening is more important than speaking. Even in my relationship with the Lord I'm learning that He has a lot to say to me if I'll just take the time to really listen. I've gone through many experiences in relationships that have stretched me and taken me way out of my comfort zone. In my younger years I wouldn't speak up when someone hurt me but would hold it all inside and this proved to be very unhealthy emotionally as well as physically. So I learned how to communicate but I forgot how to listen. I developed a really bad habit of butting in during conversations. My husband brought this to my attention and at first I balked and denied that I had a problem. But I did some soul searching and asked the Lord to help me to grow and change. I catch myself now starting to but in but I stop myself more often than not and tune my ears in to what is being said by others. Teachable. That means I have as much to learn as I have to share. Teachable. That means I have to be willing to admit I have something wrong and need correction. Teachable. It means staying humble and realizing as much as I do know already, I still have a lot to learn.

Teach me Lord how to live and move and have my being in You. Teach me Lord how to love as You have defined in 1Cor. 13. Teach me Lord how to tune my ears to Your commands so I won't miss You speaking to me. Teach me Lord to really listen to others so they feel valued and loved. Teach me Lord how to walk in Your Spirit, how to abide in You so I can be fruitful and productive in Your Kingdom. I thank You Lord that You who have begun a good work in me are able to bring it to completion. Love, Your servant Tina

What I've learned in 41 years

2008-03-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

My birthday is approaching fast. This Saturday, April 5th, I'll be 41 years young. Every year as my birthday approaches I take a personal inventory just like many of us do when the calendar turns to a new year. I look over the past year to see if goals were reached, lessons were learned, and most importantly that I have been changed more into the likeness of Christ than I was a year ago. I was reading through my journal from the past couple of years and realized just how much the Lord has heard my prayers and the cry of my heart and has been answering those deep yearnings within me. I can see the Father's handiwork in my life molding, shaping, and pruning me. He is so awesome in the way He gently, lovingly disciplines His children. I'm so amazed by Him. I would like to share a few lessons I have learned in my 41 years of life.

The most recent has to do with my my husband. I know what a gem the Lord has given me in Brian, but I didn't fully appreciate some of his attributes until recently. Maybe it was in my own weakness and stumbling that revelation came. All I know is that God put us together for better and worse and Brian has not only seen me in both conditions, he has loved me through them as well. The good, the bad, and the ugly. How many women are blessed to be married to the same man for 20 years, who has also been their best friend for over 25 years? In today's world they are rare. And of course life has served us up many struggles, heartaches, and pain but through it all we've grown stronger in our relationships with the Lord and each other. I wouldn't trade one moment of my life with him and I pray we have another 40 years or more to serve the Lord together. The lesson is to be thankful and appreciate the blessing of a husband who loves God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength and loves me like Christ loves the church.

Another lesson I have learned I shared part of in my last post. The Lord has delivered me from many strongholds from my past. He has done a thorough cleansing of the stains of sin on my soul and though I'm not yet fully who He has called me to be I am so far removed from the person I used to be that I hardly recognize myself. I hope that makes sense. Recently the Lord revealed to me a pattern of defeat in my thought life. The revelation came through what Brian has been sharing with us in his blog, through the Word being preached and taught at church, talking to a close & trusted friend, and my own time of study in His Word and prayer. It is much easier to recognize the lies and tactics of the enemy when we avail ourselves of all of the weapons of our warfare. God has not designed us to be loners who are able to walk through this life victoriously on our own. There are far to many Scriptures that prove our need for each other. So, the lesson was in humility, admitting I was struggling and discouraged, and allowing His body to come around me to help me to overcome in this area I was being defeated in.

The final lesson I will share with you today has to do with the Scripture about strengthening ourselves in the Lord found in Jude 20. We need to encourage ourselves and build up our faith by speaking the truth to ourselves as I also stated in another blog. I've had to choose to declare the truth even when my soul was feeling the opposite. It's amazing How that spoken Word causes our spirit man to respond in faith and overcome those weaknesses in our flesh. As I keep saying NO to the pity party I could so easily have because my flesh is weak, and say Yes to the Holy Spirit and pray in the Spirit as the Word instructs me to do, my soul and body just line up with God's truth that rises up in faith from my spirit. I've been teaching the children about the Armor of God. I've been reminding myself as well of the importance to use all of the weapons of our warfare. I encourage you and myself today to put on the full Armor of God, raise up your Shield of Faith, and wield the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. Speak His Word to yourself and be strengthened in your faith today.

Resurrection Sunday

2008-03-23T20:15:00.000-07:00

So, have you ever wondered why easter is on this wacky schedule? And why Resurrection Sunday is called easter? And why even the pagans celebrate easter with bunny's, eggs, candy & such? I challenged myself a few years back to stop the egg dying, easter baskets w/colored grass, chocolate bunnies, and an assortment of pastel colored candies. My children missed it at first but now they don't even ask about those things. I confess I haven't researched everything about it but I do know a few things that convinced me something was amiss. Jesus, died on the cross and was resurrected during Passover. But easter doesn't follow the Jewish calendar and very rarely do they coincide. I could kind of get the egg thing with the three parts and hiding them like Christ was in the tomb but I was really lost with the whole bunny & candy thing. What on earth do they have to do with the Savior of the world giving His life as a ransom for many and rising from the dead on Sun. morning? I guess I tend to question more of why we do what we do now that I'm older. When the answer is because we've always done it, or I grew up doing this I think the tradition may be suspect and deserves a closer look and a decision as to whether this is a tradition that brings glory to Christ and draws me closer to Him or am I unknowingly upholding some pagan tradition that worships some ancient idol. I don't know about you but that makes me stand up and take notice since the first couple of commandments are about idols and putting anything first besides God. Hmmm, makes you wonder what else we keep participating in year after year, like some of our Christmas traditions that we just do because we always have. Anyhow, I just wanted to say I hope you all had a blessed Resurrection Sunday although I'm thinking it should have been April 20th on Passover. I say we make a new tradition and celebrate Christs resurrection from the dead on Passover and while we're at it let's just start celebrating His death and resurrection every Sunday, and hmmm, let's take it one step further and celebrate what Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior did for us EVERYDAY!

My final thoughts are about what the Lord has been revealing to me lately. I've just recovered from an extended illness which I wrote about earlier. I have to confess I was more than a little bit discouraged throughout my ordeal. Brian has been experiencing some ailments in his body and I found myself worrying and wondering what on earth we've done wrong to be experiencing this much sickness. As I was praying and seeking the Lord one morning the Holy Spirit whispered truth to my heart and I acted on that truth and then He whispered some more and more and I now find myself full of faith, standing on His promises and believing His Word and not what my eyes see. Proclaiming the truth of who He is and declaring and choosing LIFE. Then these very truths were confirmed to me through the preaching of the Word and a prophetic Word. The first truth is that the opposition I've been experiencing has been an attack from the enemy. I made a choice to go all the way with God and believe Him for the impossible and I made my adversary, well let's say, a little cranky. I didn't realize this at first and kept thinking I had done something wrong. The second revelation was this morning about His Resurrection power. That scripture about If that same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in you, it will quicken (bring life to) our mortal bodies came to my mind and I started standing on His Word and receiving this truth deep in my heart and speaking that truth over Brian and me. In the fall when I took a leap of faith I was speaking life over my body, my husbands body, my family, the church, etc. and the first thing that happened when I bought into the lie again was I started sounding very negative and was speaking about the problems. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Let's take some time to listen to what is coming out of our mouths and also check what we do just because we always have and I believe revelation will come and we will be changed for the better as we tune our ear to His voice and open the eyes of our hearts more to His truth. God not only can do a mighty work in our lives, He really wants to!

The truth about worship

2008-03-15T13:16:00.000-07:00

There seems to be much debate going on about worship. Every church has their idea of what worship looks like and so does every Christian. You can find any type of 'worship' music you can think of on CD. It has actually become quite a booming industry. But what is worship? Is it music? Is it singing? Is it something we do at church on Sunday? I believe the truth about worship is found in the Word of God. Jesus said that the Father is looking for true worshipers to worship Him in spirit and in truth. I believe that worship is as much about who we are as what we do. We are called to present our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God and He says this is our spiritual act of worship (Romans 12:1). A living sacrifice means I die daily. I place myself on the altar. I become a living sacrifice by willingly surrendering to the Lord. And we are called a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God and we are commanded to worship only the one true and living God. (1 Peter 2:9)

And so, we are learning how to crucify our flesh, pick up our cross daily, and follow Him. This is the truth I know about worship. Worship is as simple as turning my thought towards my Lord. Giving God the glory that is due Him. Not just showing Him outward signs of praise and adoration but turning my heart towards Him and surrendering my will to His will in everything. "Not my will but Yours be done" was Jesus' prayer and so should be ours as well. I prostrate my heart and my body, humbly before the King of Kings and Lord of Lord who deserves all of my worship.

When I was sick with the whooping cough I lost my voice completely more than once that year. Everyone who knows me understands how much I love to sing and how difficult this was for me. This was a year where God stripped away so much in my life until it was just Him & me. I learned to surrender in a deeper way than I ever knew how to previously. I learned what worship truly is and that I could worship Him without even uttering a sound. I have put away my preconceived notions about worship and have embraced the truth that is all through God's Word. I encourage you to search it out for yourself. I'm still uncovering, & discovering such a wealth of truth. And that truth is making me more free to worship Him. My prayer is to be found ready when He returns, as a true worshipper. Worshipping my Lord in spirit and in truth!

The truth about sickness

2008-03-13T05:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm on the mend and feeling better each day. Even my back is recovering from coughing and inactivity. PTL! Sometimes it's hard to take the medicine required to get well. But when you are desperate enough it becomes easier. Desperation...now there's a word we equate with being weak. An undesirable way of being by this world's standards. But being desperate for the Lord, as we sing in many worship songs, is a very good way of being. It's hard to be proud and desperate at the same time. This period of sickness has reminded me of another type of sickness. The sickness in our souls caused by sin. I don't know about you but I haven't been able to overcome this sickness without the blood of Jesus and the empowering of the Holy Spirit. It's just way to easy to delude yourself into thinking "everything is OK with me". But when sickness in body slows you down enough to do some soul searching, you don't always like what you find. I find myself desperate to change. Yes, the Lord has delivered me out of much and I'm walking victoriously in areas that I struggled with for many years. But, there is still much residue from sin sickness left on my soul that needs the washing of the the water of the Word daily. Not that much unlike the residue of sickness still left in my body that requires daily clearing out of my airways so I can breath normally and continuing to take the medicines prescribed until they are finished even though I'm feeling much better. We have to take the daily prescription that God has for us in His Word, in His Presence, and in the Fire in order to completely overcome our sin sickness. How many of us don't see the prescription through? For me, I needed a stronger prescription. Sometimes the fire has to get stronger to burn off stubborn impurities. If this rings true to you then join me in this prayer; Lord, I willingly submit to your purifying work in my life today. I'm desperate for you to change me. I want to be more like Jesus. I see so many reactions in me that show how much I need You to cleanse me of all impurities. I thank You for your loving hand of discipline in my life. I thank You for Your mercies that are new every morning. Psalm 51:10 - Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me. In Jesus precious name, Amen.

In Sickness & in Health

2008-03-03T16:43:00.000-08:00

I'm back. I had to take a couple day break due to sickness. It's hard to put cohesive thoughts together when you're under the weather. I woke up yesterday morning and my thoughts went back to three & 1/2 years ago when I was sick with the whooping cough. I was remembering how sick I was and how the Lord showed Himself strong. He taught me so much in sickness and made me oh so grateful for good health. I've been battling with bronchitis & an upper respiratory infection for 3 weeks now. I finished my first round of antibiotics last Mon. but the infections are back with a vengeance and now I have to take a stronger antibiotic for 2 weeks this time. The Lord is teaching me again. Sickness is the great equalizer. It humbles the proud. No one is exempt from experiencing sickness. I'm quite the health nut and pride myself in my extensive knowledge of all things healthy. I will gladly share my wealth of knowledge with many an unsuspecting victim. But all of my knowledge and practical application of eating healthy, taking supplements, using organic as much as possible, and relying on homeopathic remedies for a host of conditions and illnesses did not keep me from becoming sick. It's always a humbling experience for me to go to the doctor and have to admit, "I need help!" I've never been one to run to the doctors for every sniffle, especially after developing many allergies to modern medicine. But sometimes we need what modern medicine has to offer. Isn't God the one who has inspired and gifted men and women to be our health care providers? I am to quick to speak ill of modern medicine. It truly is a flawed system mainly dealing with symptoms and not so interested in what is causing the symptoms. But here I am, humbled once again and thanking God that He is in control. I'm praising Him because He is God and His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are high above me and I humbly submit to His will for my life in sickness and in health.

Inspired

2008-02-29T19:59:00.000-08:00

Hello, This is my first of many posts to my In Spirit and in Truth blog. I've been inspired by my husband to start my own blog. I was recently sharing with my dear friend Laurie that I feel like I have so much inside of me to offer but no real outlet other than writing in my journal, which is mostly private. I wanted a public forum to offer some of the truths the Holy Spirit has taught me in this journey called life.
I wrote a song, or rather the Lord downloaded a song into my brain a few years back that inspired the title to my blog. We had the painful experience of having to leave the church of our youth and God took us on a journey of helping to pioneer another. In one of the meetings in our home I had to take my son Isaac, who was two at the time, away from our guests because he was being a bit unruly as two year olds can be. As I sat downstairs with Isaac trying to entertain him I was feeling a bit left out and just started singing to my Lord and out came this song:

I worship You, in spirit and in truth
I worship You, I worship You
You are the King, You are Lord of everything
I worship You, I worship You

You came, You died, You rose again
And now I call You Savior and Friend
You paid the price to set me free
So I can walk in victory, and worship You
In spirit and in truth..........

I felt my spirits lift and the presence of the Lord filled the playroom in my home and I felt full and no longer left out. The Lord taught me that day that it doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing I can worship Him and He responds to worship. When I truly worship Him in spirit and truth He has never failed to show up in my life in a very real and tangible way. I praise Him for His faithfulness to me and for His love that abounds towards me. No matter what you are doing today, or whatever circumstances you find yourself in, take some time and worship the Lord. You will be oh so glad you did.